Ringmaster by Abigail Frankfurt

say you finally decide to run away and join the circus – but by the 3rd mile your knees start to ache – so you slow down to a brisk walk and the circus is still within sight – but now your lower back – ouch – all those years waiting tables, car crashes, lifting boxes the wrong way – so you stop to lay in the grass and stretch the way one of many physical therapists taught you – when you feel loose you look toward the west and the circus tent is still waiting – that perks up your spirit! you begin to gallop until you finally hear circus music circus happiness circus promise circus joy – where is the big top where is the bearded woman where are the conjoined twins – i am here i am ready to be brave – i will swing from the trapeze i will cross the high wire – a clown – with ridiculous shoes and bright red hair appears- his face makeup is smeared leaving his mouth turned down – he says the circus is leaving town – you lived the life you lived – the one that kept you inside the one that had you convinced that streaming Netflix and avoiding neighbors was behavior you would have time to change once you began “living” – and i say “you aren’t very funny for a clown.” and he says we all miscalculate time, the days – i never read Mo-Yan because i was too quick to follow the ringmaster, i was young and squirrelly- i just had to join the circus