Niespodziany by Benjamin Niespodziany

The dentist’s receptionist leaves me a voicemail in Polish because my last name translates to Grand Surprise. I tap dance on dumpsters when no one is watching and still I hide behind a lengthy curtain when I eat my porridge. I am a puppet that stinks like an uncertain sea urchin. Enough algae around my shoulders to concern aquarium holders. This is the fourth time I’ve told you that although my name sounds like an Eastern European ice cream flavor, I only speak drunk Spanish, so stop your crazed behavior and talk to me in our mutual tongue: the language of the canvas.

Benjamin Niespodziany is a left-handed librarian at the University of Chicago. He runs a multimedia art blog and instrumental record label known as neonpajamas. He has had his work published in formercactus, Occulum, Ghost City Press, Five2One, and others. Despite his last name, he is only 25% Polish.