Man vs. Wild by Nicholas Rys

After the president was eaten alive by bears on national television the country fell into various states of dilapidation.

In a rare moment of unity both fans and critics agreed it was a riveting and appropriate end to what ultimately amounted to both a condescending and overextended stay. The survivalist-themed reality TV program was previously thought to be staged but proved everyone wrong and had the highest rating in television history.

The good thing about a country with no president is that you finally have a country with no president. The bad thing about your country with no president is nothing because it fucking rules. I think we’re all pretty apt at self-governance by now. We’ve all got solid wifi connections.

Some time ago I started seeing people wearing t-shirts and holding signs that said NO GOD JUST GOOGLE but I couldn’t tell if they were being ironic or not.

It really is a colorful time to be alive. I suppose it’s gotten harder to get along but for the most part we can all agree on the violence. That feels universal. When everyone saw those bears tear apart the president, we all knew they meant it.

Nicholas Rys lives in Yellow Springs, Ohio where he writes and makes music. His writing has appeared in various places online such as Hobart, Fanzine, Entropy, Shotgun Honey, and others. He is an active member of Johnstown, Pennsylvania-based arts collective/archive, My Idea of Fun, where he releases music.